It was inevitable.  The first of my daughters friends have gotten married.   Two weddings in two weekends.  As she and her friends graduate from college and begin their careers, the next obvious step for them is marriage and family.

This weekend, I had the pleasure of witnessing one of her friends getting married.  This wedding wasn’t just one of the first, it was actually special to me for other reasons.  That is because this bride was special to ME.

My daughter became friends with the bride back in junior high school.   They were both part of this large group of friends that hung out with each other over the years.  These friends, both guys and gals, spent many happy times together.  They always seemed to move in a pack.  Every school play, school dance, school sports event, whatever the occasion…they hung out together through it all…always remaining the closest of friends.  Even as they separated to attend different colleges, they always managed to keep in close contact.

So, from this large circle of friends why is the bride so special?  That is easy.  We developed a special relationship early on.   I remember many times when she came to the house to visit with my daughter, that we would get into the best conversations.  She was never afraid to talk to me about what was on her mind.   She accompanied us on many shopping excursions, and even joined our family for my daughters high school graduation trip to Hawaii.  I knew that visiting Hawaii was a dream of hers, so it made perfect sense to ask her join us on this celebratory trip.

I clearly remember the day when she called and wanted to drop by.  She had been living on the other side of our state, attending college, but she had someone that she wanted me to meet.   Wow…this was new.   It was easy to see how much they cared about each other, and it was clear what a wonderful young man her beau was.  I knew immediately that “this was it”.

As I arrived at the wedding location, I saw her Mom, who told me to go visit with her as she was waiting for the ceremony to begin.  As I walked into the room, I took one look at this young girl who was definitely all grown up now…and I immediately burst into tears.  Of course, every bride is beautiful on her wedding day, but she was stunning!   All those years of watching her grow into this beautiful young woman, listening to her dreams, sharing her hopes…I knew that this was right.  This was the beginning of her future…of their story.

Congratulations to the beautiful couple.  I am so happy for you, and love you both dearly!

No, that isn’t a typo.   Mine is a family that suffers from allergies.  I have been plagued with this my entire life.  Weeds, dust, pollen, molds, yeast, dogs, cats, even paper particles.  (I know…strange.)  My poor son sniffles and sneezes from seasonal allergies.  We keep over the counter allergy medicine in the cupboard at all times.

Which brings me to my daughter.  She has an allergy that is a little more difficult to stock over the counter solutions for.   She is allergic to cars.    No, not cats…cars.

I got one of those dreaded phone calls today. I had spent a fantastic weekend hanging out with my daughter, enjoying the Billy Joel and Elton John concert.  (The boys still got it after all these years!)  She had stayed over an additional day to hang out with her brother some more.  (She gets points for that.)  She left to drive back over the mountains today on the five hour trek back to her home.  The phone rings way too early for it to be the call that she is almost home.  “Mom, guess what?? My car broke down again”.   What??  This is unbelievable!

In her career as a driver she has had to be towed four, no make that five times.   She has blown one engine, had one car accident, been through two cars, countless repairs and many hours in the company of a tow truck driver.

Today it appears that her timing belt broke and the pistons are damaged.  Can you say…new motor?    We had the car towed (for the second time today) to her home town and we will be securing a second opinion.  Not that I don’t trust the first mechanics opinion…but I think I just need a second person to tell me that the car no longer has a pulse.

This makes me sad.  Our car has a name.  He is Geno.  Geno has been with me for almost 10 years, and had taken us all over the country.  We have been to family weddings in Kansas, we have been on road trips through Montana to Colorado, he has taken us to Portland for multiple Christmas holidays.  He is Geno.  It breaks my heart to think about it…but I know in my heart that putting in a new motor isn’t reasonable.

If anyone knows of an over the counter remedy to help my daughter with this allergy, I would appreciate the information.   I think the best remedy is a bus pass.  Sorry kid!

Today the weather in Seattle is absolutely gorgeous.   I am enjoying it while I can.   Last week we had a sneak peak at the Fall weather that will be a consistent friend soon.  Cool.  Cloudy.  Rain.  I am sad.

I will look on the bright side, though.  The one thing that I really enjoy about Fall is the rotation of clothes in the closet.  I love Fall clothes.  The colors, the textures…the shoes!

This is also the last year of my daughters college education, and she is now firmly settled back in Spokane.  We have made it a tradition every year for me to join her in Spokane in October.  This tradition started out as a visit during parents week, attending the school plays, school activities, and sharing the college culture with parents.  It soon evolved into my arrival during parents week, but our NOT attending any of the carefully planned activities.  We learned that we just wanted to hang out with each other.  And, of course, we shopped.

This year will be our last October weekend together in Spokane.  I am already planning our shopping expedition.   I know that a girl can not have too many shoes, but is it possible for us to have too many boots?   I think not!

This year is definitely starting off differently then any other year. I take that as a good sign (are you listening Mr. Plan Supervisor??) For the first time in over 10 years I actually went out on the town and partied like a rockstar! My BFF, my daughter, and I ended up dancing the night away at a local tavern. The top billed band, Handful of Lovin’ rocked the house. It was the perfect way to start the year…surrounded by great music and great family and friends! Yep. This will be a good year. Now excuse me while I go take a nap…Did you know that it is against the law for women over 40 to be out until 3 a.m.? Oh…it’s not? Hmm. Does that mean instead that…I might just be too old for this? …. Nah! Happy New Year!

“I’ll be just fine, Mom”. Somehow, these words made their way through the phone lines as I was talking with my daughter about her trip home for the holidays.

Her semester at college is coming to an end. By Thursday, she will have turned in all her assignments, she will have taken all her final exams. Now it is time to come home for the holidays. My logical brain told me that she would be on the road Friday and be safe and sound at home before the seasons first BIG STORM arrives. The weather reports are preparing us for blustery winds, lots of cold (wrap your pipes cold) and snow in Seattle!

I was feeling relieved when I realized that she would be home on Friday….But, wait…. Not so fast! First there is the luncheon to attend, then there is the final goodbye with friends, then there is packing to do (and if truth be told, I’m sure the final hug with the BF!).

I found myself practically begging her to come home early. The five hour drive over flat landscape that provides white-knuckle driving when the wind sings, and the mountain pass that celebrates the snow storms by inviting its travelers to hang out for a while so the snow can finish its winter dance, were images that marched through my brain. Every year my daughter has at least one dramatic driving adventure during a college commute. I was really hoping that she could get a pass this year. Surely she has collected $200! Surely she received the Get Out of Jail Free card already in this game! Why tempt fate? I guess time will tell.

“I’ll be just fine, Mom! I’ve done this before. I’ll be okay!” After snorting my reply that I haven’t been a worry-wart Mom for at least a day and a half…I proceeded to bark suggestions for her trip preparation. “Make sure that your gas tank never goes below 1/2 full. Make sure that your cell phone is fully charged. Make sure that you have blankets and boots. Make sure that you have some food. Do you have your tire chains? Make sure that you have cash with you, not just your debit card.” Hmmm. Let’s see. What’d I miss?

She was very patient as I rattled off these words that I am sure are hard coded into every mothers DNA. Okay, she was sorta patient. I’m sure I heard a few “I know, Mom”. “Okay, Mom.” “Got it, Mom.” Can you actually hear eyes rolling? I think so.

As I sit here on Friday night, listening to the wind whistle outside my windows, I have entered into a tough conversation with myself. I know…she will be fine. I know…she will make it home safely, even if she is delayed by weather. I know…that she is a grown up now and can make her own decisions. (D*#@, when did that happen?) I can stop worrying now. There that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Yeah. Right!

The dream, the vision, the place, the time. I remember as a young girl having the dream of attending college. I didn’t have a vision of what the course of study would be, or what the classroom experience would be like, or a hope of what the social experience would be. What I did have…was a vision of what the campus would look like.

I remember clearly dreaming of the walk along tree-lined sidewalks, with the fall leaves showing off their brilliant colors as they swirled in their dance to the ground. I remember the thoughts of the crisp fall weather, where a thick sweater would be required. I remember the vision of walking briskly past the old brick buildings as I headed to my next class, books held tightly under my arm. I remember thinking that there would be a smile reflecting my content mood. Ahhh…the dream!

Something happened between those dreams and reality. I did have a brief college experience, but it didn’t play out as I had dreamed. My campus looked nothing like how I had dreamed it. The actual campus could not have been more different then my dreams.

This past weekend, my son and I took a road trip to visit my daughter at her college campus. She is in her junior year, so this wasn’t the first time that I had been to see her. This year, however, the thoughts were different then during past visits. As we were walking around campus this year, my childhood thoughts broke through my subconscious as we walked along beautiful tree-lined sidewalks. The colors of the trees were radiant in their fall spectacular! The leaves floated gracefully through the air on their way to the ground. The weather was a sunny, crisp delight that brought out our sweaters. The dorm my daughter lives in is a beautiful brick structure built in 1914.

This was the campus of my youth! I was there! This was my dream. But it really wasn’t my dream, after all, was it? I felt no pull of envy, jealousy or regret. I was overwhelmed with excitement and a sense of peace that my daughter is living my vision. Could it be that sometimes we are given these visions and dreams, not for ourselves, but for our children? I take comfort in this thought. If this is my truth, then it brings me peace in knowing that my daughter is right where she was always meant to be, doing what she was meant to be doing.

Isn’t this just the loveliest face? Yes, it is true, this is my baby girl…all grown up…so she tells me. She is now 21 years old, is a junior in college, works part time on campus, runs an online business (here’s your plug CJ…www.toinvite.com), and…oh yeah…has a boyfriend (aka social life).

Next weekend is Parents Weekend on campus. Here is the plan:

leave the office early
pick up the puppy
pick up The Boy (her brother)
throw the bags in the car
fillup gas tank
begin the five hour trek over the mountains.

My trip checklist includes:

CD’s (Me: The Eagles, The Boy: Tool)
Mountain Dew
Snickers bars
Fully charged cell phone

One…Two…Three… ROADTRIP!!! (This is another story. Ask me later and I’ll explain.)

This will be the third Parents Weekend that I have attended. I must admit that the agenda has changed dramatically over the years. Year One had me registered months ahead of time, choosing the parents classes to attend, attending the college play, joining the mass of parents in the Dean’s speech, touring campus, blah, blah, blah. Year Two had me doing the same registration, however, I only attended half of the designated parental events.

This year, Year Three…a completely different game plan. Register? Not so much! When I called my daughter about the weekend, the conversation quickly led to her saying “Just come on over, Mom. You don’t need to register for any of the events, let’s just hang.” Yeah..music to my ears. Let’s just hang. Of course, this translates in daughter speak to REALLY mean, “Hey, Mom. Let’s go to Nordstrom and go shopping!” All she really had to say was “I need a new pair of Shoes!” I’d be all over that one!

I can’t wait!

So soon? Where did the time go? I remember so clearly when we brought home this amazing little baby……This is where I stop myself. Now, I can certainly do the predictable and slip into the typical, “what a wonderful experience to watch you learn to walk…blah…blah…blah”, and believe me when I say that I am tempted. However, I realize that nothing I say can really share the true emotions of a mother in talking about their children.

So instead of talking about my daughter, I will talk to her.

CJ, you have been a neverending source of joy to my life. I’m certain that you taught me more about life, then I was able to teach you. Any fear that I had of being prepared to ‘handle the teen years’ were unnecessary fears. You made it so easy on me! I’ll never forget the day when you were 16 and you asked me, “Do you remember that time when I was in junior high where I was kind of irritable and cranky? Well, that was when I went through my teen years rebellion. I’m over it though, so you don’t have to worry.” Your uncle told me that I didn’t live in the real world because you never took me through the teen years. I will be forever grateful to you for that and will willingly reside in my fantasy world!

I am so very proud of you. The way you are tackling college, working, running a business, AND a busy social life is inspiring! I will be sitting back with delight to watch what you do next!