I will admit it.  I have “a list”.  I have fine tuned it, edited it, changed it, updated it, deleted from it and added to it.   Come on…admit it.  You have one too (or had).    This is the list that defines the guy (or gal) that is “perfect for you”.   Not just perfect…but perfect for you.

After all these years of being a single girl, I would say that my list is pretty fine tuned by now.  It has its “would be nice” column, its “must have” column, and of course the “deal breaker”  column.    If this seems very superficial to you, I do not apologize.    I have gotten to know myself very well over the years, and have learned to recognize what works and what doesn’t.

I figured that I had this list thing down pat.  But, I was wrong    What a surprise to me, then, to hear the words spoken by Sandra Bullock during her acceptance speech at the Golden Globe awards show.   She thanked her husband,  saying that “I never knew what it felt like to have someone have my back”.

To put it in just this way, with just these words, really caught my attention.  Of course, one of the line items on my list is “supports my goals”, but to hear it expressed in this way was like hearing a beautiful verse in a song. I don’t think I ever really understood exactly what this meant.

What would that be like, I wondered?  Someone who truly had your back.  Not just lip service, not just when it was convenient for them, not just when it also served their purposes.   It is time to edit my list again.

The dream, the vision, the place, the time. I remember as a young girl having the dream of attending college. I didn’t have a vision of what the course of study would be, or what the classroom experience would be like, or a hope of what the social experience would be. What I did have…was a vision of what the campus would look like.

I remember clearly dreaming of the walk along tree-lined sidewalks, with the fall leaves showing off their brilliant colors as they swirled in their dance to the ground. I remember the thoughts of the crisp fall weather, where a thick sweater would be required. I remember the vision of walking briskly past the old brick buildings as I headed to my next class, books held tightly under my arm. I remember thinking that there would be a smile reflecting my content mood. Ahhh…the dream!

Something happened between those dreams and reality. I did have a brief college experience, but it didn’t play out as I had dreamed. My campus looked nothing like how I had dreamed it. The actual campus could not have been more different then my dreams.

This past weekend, my son and I took a road trip to visit my daughter at her college campus. She is in her junior year, so this wasn’t the first time that I had been to see her. This year, however, the thoughts were different then during past visits. As we were walking around campus this year, my childhood thoughts broke through my subconscious as we walked along beautiful tree-lined sidewalks. The colors of the trees were radiant in their fall spectacular! The leaves floated gracefully through the air on their way to the ground. The weather was a sunny, crisp delight that brought out our sweaters. The dorm my daughter lives in is a beautiful brick structure built in 1914.

This was the campus of my youth! I was there! This was my dream. But it really wasn’t my dream, after all, was it? I felt no pull of envy, jealousy or regret. I was overwhelmed with excitement and a sense of peace that my daughter is living my vision. Could it be that sometimes we are given these visions and dreams, not for ourselves, but for our children? I take comfort in this thought. If this is my truth, then it brings me peace in knowing that my daughter is right where she was always meant to be, doing what she was meant to be doing.