It was inevitable.  The first of my daughters friends have gotten married.   Two weddings in two weekends.  As she and her friends graduate from college and begin their careers, the next obvious step for them is marriage and family.

This weekend, I had the pleasure of witnessing one of her friends getting married.  This wedding wasn’t just one of the first, it was actually special to me for other reasons.  That is because this bride was special to ME.

My daughter became friends with the bride back in junior high school.   They were both part of this large group of friends that hung out with each other over the years.  These friends, both guys and gals, spent many happy times together.  They always seemed to move in a pack.  Every school play, school dance, school sports event, whatever the occasion…they hung out together through it all…always remaining the closest of friends.  Even as they separated to attend different colleges, they always managed to keep in close contact.

So, from this large circle of friends why is the bride so special?  That is easy.  We developed a special relationship early on.   I remember many times when she came to the house to visit with my daughter, that we would get into the best conversations.  She was never afraid to talk to me about what was on her mind.   She accompanied us on many shopping excursions, and even joined our family for my daughters high school graduation trip to Hawaii.  I knew that visiting Hawaii was a dream of hers, so it made perfect sense to ask her join us on this celebratory trip.

I clearly remember the day when she called and wanted to drop by.  She had been living on the other side of our state, attending college, but she had someone that she wanted me to meet.   Wow…this was new.   It was easy to see how much they cared about each other, and it was clear what a wonderful young man her beau was.  I knew immediately that “this was it”.

As I arrived at the wedding location, I saw her Mom, who told me to go visit with her as she was waiting for the ceremony to begin.  As I walked into the room, I took one look at this young girl who was definitely all grown up now…and I immediately burst into tears.  Of course, every bride is beautiful on her wedding day, but she was stunning!   All those years of watching her grow into this beautiful young woman, listening to her dreams, sharing her hopes…I knew that this was right.  This was the beginning of her future…of their story.

Congratulations to the beautiful couple.  I am so happy for you, and love you both dearly!

Ring. Ring.

Hi Barb!  How are you?  Are you coming to Denver for Joy’s retirement party?

No…I’m so busy, things going on, gotta keep working.

By the end of the 45 minute conversation with my dear friend, Angela, there was no doubt.

Angela, I’m coming.

Why the sudden change?  It was for Joy.  Talking with Angela brought into clear focus what is really important in life…The cherished friends that you meet along the way.

Joy had been my boss.  But that really doesn’t give the full picture.  Joy was my boss, my teacher, my mentor, my cheerleader, my support network, my coach…my friend.  But most of all, she believed in me.  I am a better person for having been in Joy’s world.   She gave so much to all of us that had the luxury of being on her team.

So, off to Denver I went to join the rest of her fan club at the Surprise Retirement Party.  It was such fun.  Not only did I get to visit with Joy, but I was surrounded by many, many of my old friends.  I didn’t realize how much I missed them, but we jumped right back in without missing a beat.

Am I glad I went?  Absolutely.  The work waited for me, the world didn’t end because I took some time off.  It’s all good. Thank you, Angela, for making that phone call and reminding me of what is REALLY important!

I love you, Joy!   Have fun on your next big adventure.  I will be cheering you on!

She couldn’t speak.  She had spent the afternoon crying.  She was in shock and devastated.  The best she could do was send me a message on Skype.   “I have something that you need to hear.”   This is the message that beeped into my skype stream late one afternoon.  The tears and sorrow flowed through as the words poured out of her.

I watched the instant messages from my daughter as she shares with me that one of her dearest friends had suddenly passed away.  Noone knew what happened, noone saw it coming, noone could believe it.   I knew that she was not prepared to deal with this.

Are we ever ready to deal with this?  Certainly not.   She has experienced the loss of great grandparents.  She lives 1200 miles away from my childhood home so these were family members that were not a part of her day to day life.   This time…this was close to her home.  Lee was special.  Lee was someone who she had spent three years with at college…hanging out in each others dorms, going to school events together, studying together, eating together, taking road trips together, laughing together, crying together.   He had graduated a year before my daughter, but they remained close.  Lee and his girlfriend had recently spent some time over the holidays in our home.  Our home was one of the stops on their “couch surfing” tour as they visited good friends.

Lee had the biggest heart.  It was evident to everyone who came near him.  Just to be in the same room with him, you knew that you were being wrapped in love and kindness.  In the end, it was his heart, it was just too big.  He shared what he was supposed to share with us mere mortals, and now God has asked him to expand his influence from heaven.

How do you prepare your children for this kind of devastating loss?  I don’t think you do.  The hardest part is that my daughter lives 200 miles away from me and I could only give her virtual hugs.  All I could do was encourage her to take the time to travel to Lee’s home town to honor his life.  He is also from Colorado (my home state), so my family members were called, plans were made, weather reports were consulted, and she and a friend set off for Colorado.

I feel better that even though I cannot wrap my arms around her in comfort, my family will be able to.  Thanks Steve and Arlene, and everyone else back home, for taking care of my baby girl!

I was having one of those days.   I’m sure that this kind of day won’t be unfamiliar to you…Nothing seemed to be going well…Computer systems crashed, customers were angry, projects were running late, stress was in the air.

By three o’clock in the afternoon, I knew that the best plan of attack for me was to see myself through to the end of the day and try again tomorrow.    Then, my cell phone rings.   It is my son.   Before I have time to pick up the phone, I get the familiar beep notifying me that someone has sent me an instant message on skype.  I look up at my computer screen and see that it is my daughter.  I see this message flash onto my screen:

“Mom, Lee is calling.  Please stay calm.”

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my cell phone and answer with a “What is it?”   No pleasantries for me.  No “hello, what’s up?”  I went straight to the parental moment where you ask for full disclosure.   The response that greets me is:

“Mom, It’s not my fault.”

What parent hasn’t heard that before, right?   It turns out that my son was replacing my kitchen faucet.  In this task the pvc pipe that sends water to the faucet broke off about an inch into the wall.  The kids tell me that it was quite a sight.  Water was shooting out everywhere, Lee was running around trying to remember where the water turn off valve is.    Valve was located…water turned off.   Whew.

After hearing this story…I laughed.  Yes, you heard me, I laughed.  It was at this point in my day when I realized that the day just couldn’t get any worse.  There was nothing left to do, but laugh.   I pulled up stake and headed home to help my son. I knew that he felt bad, but I also knew that he was so wonderful for taking on this task and doing it himself.

As I reached the house, I met him at the door as he was returning from his Dads house.  He had gone to pick up the shop vac to suck up all the water that was…yes…all over the kitchen.  He also had the name of a remodeling expert that his Dad referred him to.

I called the referral, Steve’s Paneling and Remodeling, who came over within 45 minutes.   He assessed the problem, which evidently is common with old pipe, and explained to my son exactly what to purchase, and exactly how to fix it.   He was detailed and patient with his explanation and then told my son to call him on his cell phone if there were any problems.  When I asked Steve how much I owed him for the service call, he responded:

‘No charge, my pleasure!”

What??   This guy didn’t know me, but was willing to waive a service charge?  Wow!!  I couldn’t believe it.   Rest assured that I refused to let him leave empty handed, but how amazing this was.  I had never experienced such kindness from a service business.  I made sure to put Steve in my iPhone for reference in the future. (I couldn’t find an online listing for him to link to, so if you are local and ever need a referral…just let me know…I’ll hook you up!)

As I reflected back on the day, I suddenly remembered how my day had started.  At six thirty a.m., as I pulled through my local Starbucks for my morning cup of coffee, the person in the car before me had paid for my coffee.  A simple act of kindness towards someone that they didn’t know.

This puts the whole world in perspective real fast.   Even though I was having a hard day, my day had started with a random act of kindness from a stranger, and ended with an act of kindness from a stranger.   I fell asleep with a smile on my face, wrapped in kindness.

…The Daily Blonde! Cheryl has graciously given me permission to identify her as our damsel in distress. If you haven’t already been introduced to The Daily Blonde you must take a peek at her blog. Funny stuff! She will keep you giggling, chuckling, laughing out loud, and raising the occasional eyebrow! You can read her comments to my blogpost below. She is happy to report that she is doing well. Give her a shout on Twitter and send her your support!

The Daily Blonde said…

and that is one of the BEST posts I’ve read in a LONG, LONG time. WOW. I’m flattered….and here’s the funny part: I was a BIG nay-sayer about social media for the longest time. Since starting my blog last year and learning about Twitter a few months ago, I feel like I have this community that I can bounce ideas off of, share a laugh or just scream with. It’s an awesome experience and yes, these people are real. Just like YOU!

I’m so glad to have “met” you thru this social media world. The name of your blog alone makes me smile. The fact that you’d stand up for a friend you don’t really even know speak volumes.

It’s been a rough few days..but you know, it’s coming around. I’ve learned over the years what is good for me and what is very, very toxic. However, my parents were married 43 years before they passed away and were so crazy in love…and I recall one hellish fight they had years ago. Name calling, put-downs, just cruel crap flying all over. I was probably 12 years old at the time and had never seen them duke it out. Days later, the storm subsided and they were madly in love again. It hurt, yes…but I think stress, life, and who knows what else…gets the best of us.

You rock. I leave really long comments.haha.

January 4, 2009 10:07 PM

I’m feeling rather introspective this evening. Another friend left me a voicemail last night that said, “I’m sorry to call so late, but would you please call me back? I need your advice.” When I called her back, we talked for an hour about an issue that was weighing heavy on her heart.

This isn’t uncommon for me. I tend to be the friend that is called to talk things through with. Don’t get me wrong. I am honored that people respect my opinion enough to ask for it. But, tonight I am reflecting on what draws people to seek me out in this way. What is it that makes my friends seek my advice? If they are comfortable enough to reach out for my words, what are the quality of my words? Am I really helpful? Am I ever harmful?

I will say a prayer tonight that I never do harm. I send out a hope that I always provide the hug in my voice, or the comfort of my arms when needed. Please give me the wisdom to recognize when it only takes my ears to listen and not my spoken words to provide the comfort that is seeked.

I had a phone conversation this morning that has been on my mind ever since. A dear friend of mine is taking a new job with a new company.

It is a wonderful opportunity, an amazing opportunity, and I am so excited for her! She has spent the last few years working so, so hard….dealing with the toughest situations…..with the toughest people.

Everything she has experienced has set her up for this moment, this opportunity, this job.

Congratulations, my friend. Go conquer the world! Love you!