She couldn’t speak.  She had spent the afternoon crying.  She was in shock and devastated.  The best she could do was send me a message on Skype.   “I have something that you need to hear.”   This is the message that beeped into my skype stream late one afternoon.  The tears and sorrow flowed through as the words poured out of her.

I watched the instant messages from my daughter as she shares with me that one of her dearest friends had suddenly passed away.  Noone knew what happened, noone saw it coming, noone could believe it.   I knew that she was not prepared to deal with this.

Are we ever ready to deal with this?  Certainly not.   She has experienced the loss of great grandparents.  She lives 1200 miles away from my childhood home so these were family members that were not a part of her day to day life.   This time…this was close to her home.  Lee was special.  Lee was someone who she had spent three years with at college…hanging out in each others dorms, going to school events together, studying together, eating together, taking road trips together, laughing together, crying together.   He had graduated a year before my daughter, but they remained close.  Lee and his girlfriend had recently spent some time over the holidays in our home.  Our home was one of the stops on their “couch surfing” tour as they visited good friends.

Lee had the biggest heart.  It was evident to everyone who came near him.  Just to be in the same room with him, you knew that you were being wrapped in love and kindness.  In the end, it was his heart, it was just too big.  He shared what he was supposed to share with us mere mortals, and now God has asked him to expand his influence from heaven.

How do you prepare your children for this kind of devastating loss?  I don’t think you do.  The hardest part is that my daughter lives 200 miles away from me and I could only give her virtual hugs.  All I could do was encourage her to take the time to travel to Lee’s home town to honor his life.  He is also from Colorado (my home state), so my family members were called, plans were made, weather reports were consulted, and she and a friend set off for Colorado.

I feel better that even though I cannot wrap my arms around her in comfort, my family will be able to.  Thanks Steve and Arlene, and everyone else back home, for taking care of my baby girl!

My son is now a young man, looking to find his way in this world.  He is seeking gainful employment, with his eyes on the prize.  The prize is moving out on his own.  I’m excited for him…anxious to see him grow…eager to see what path he takes in life.  With all that said….I will miss him when he leaves home.  I will miss how he:

• goes to the grocery store for me
• picks up my mail
• makes me laugh every day
• bonds with our puppy
• talks geek with me
• shares his love of music
• is my in-house tech guy
• cracks me up with his sense of humor
• rolls his eyes at me when I’m being too much of a “Mom”
• fixes the broken faucets
• updates my computers
• makes me laugh out loud
• shares his passion for computers and hardware
• he is willing to have great conversations with me on random topics

I could go on, but I won’t.  Sure, it is nice to have my own little handy man around, but I will miss his sense of humor and his conversations about his life passions the most.   I am always amazed when we get into the indepth conversations.  He has such a depth of understanding on social issues, political topics, and when he is excited about a topic…stand back.  The boy knows his stuff.  When I ask him how he knows so much about the subject, he just looks at me like “Duh…I research and look things up.”

Yep, I will miss him.   Shhh…don’t tell.

Time to write another blog post. What should my topic be? Hmmm… The beautiful changing leaves of the Seattle landscape? The upcoming holiday season? How about shoes? (I did participate in some fabulous shoe therapy this past weekend.) I’ve got it! How about my kids!!

I heard that! Even through the laptop keyboard I can feel the collective groan of my regular readers. “Please” you are shouting. “Not your kids AGAIN!”

O.K. O.K. I promise to explore other topics! I do recognize that I have been obsessively writing about my kids. I know that I go on and on about how wonderful they are, how smart they are, how independent and secure they are. I know that I share with you their photos, their successes, their attempt to educate and raise their Mother. But, it is now time to write of other Life Observations.

I was having dinner with a dear old friend this week. He pointed out to me that my time was up. It was time for me to take care of my own life. My son will be out of high school next Spring, and then I am all out of excuses for keeping my social life close to home. I have been tasked with creating a Plan of Action. Well, what is so hard about that? This should be easy! Here goes…

Barb’s Plan Of Action
Item #1: Do not blog about your kids so much

So, this is me not blogging about my kids. I am not telling you about the profound conversation that I had with my daughter about how America reached the financial crisis that we are in. I am not blogging about how I hung out with my son all weekend nerding out on websites, servers and Dreamweaver. I am not, I am not, I am not.

There…I feel better already. Creating this Plan, and then acting on it, is going to be piece of cake!

We are living in a fascinating time, and fascinating events are spinning all around us. Financial Crisis! Storm Disasters! Election Year! Drama! Drama! Drama!

I find myself turning on the news channels every evening to catch up on the latest conversations around world events. But something else has surprised me more then all these current events. I find it equally as fascinating to watch my son as he watches the news.

My son is 17 years old. Being a typical 17 year old, he is absorbed in his gaming, his music, his social life, and most recently his senior year in high school. It is with surprise…and admittedly pleasure…that I now find myself having intellectual conversations with my son about the upcoming Presidential Election. I find myself amazed at his knowledge of the issues and how they affect his personal world.

I had experienced a great deal of anxiety after being informed that my son does not wish to pursue a higher education. He has other dreams for his life. It is during these fleeting moments, as we are sharing conversations about the world around us, when I truly realize that my son will be taking his own path in life. He has a good mind, a solid foundation, and he will be just fine!