I’m a very proud Mama.  Connie crossed the stage on Sunday at Whitworth University graduation ceremony. She graduated cum laude!   Congratulations CJ.  We love you!

Connies Graduation May 2010

I love watching the Olympic games.  Summer Games.  Winter Games.  It makes no difference.  I love to watch.    I am always in awe of these athletes who have committed so much of their life to a sport that they are passionate about.

We hear all the stories about the drama and the tales of how these athletes got to where they are today.  But don’t you think that being a mother could also be considered an olympic sport?   Why is that, you ask?  Just consider:

• Nine months of progressively increased weight lifting
• Complete absorption and education into a new focus area
• Sleep deprivation endurance testing
• Accelerated training for intuitive interpretation of a foreign language (babies cry)
• Repetitive training techniques to enhance speed and reaction time (diaper changing)
• Special equipment for enhanced visual skills (eyes in the back of your head)
• Stretching endurance exercises (financial budget)
• Crash course medical training
• Training to become instantly alert at the sound of a telephone at 2:00 a.m.
• Ability to remain awake and alert during overnight teen festivities

I don’t know…Just Sayin.

I was having one of those days.   I’m sure that this kind of day won’t be unfamiliar to you…Nothing seemed to be going well…Computer systems crashed, customers were angry, projects were running late, stress was in the air.

By three o’clock in the afternoon, I knew that the best plan of attack for me was to see myself through to the end of the day and try again tomorrow.    Then, my cell phone rings.   It is my son.   Before I have time to pick up the phone, I get the familiar beep notifying me that someone has sent me an instant message on skype.  I look up at my computer screen and see that it is my daughter.  I see this message flash onto my screen:

“Mom, Lee is calling.  Please stay calm.”

Taking a deep breath, I pick up my cell phone and answer with a “What is it?”   No pleasantries for me.  No “hello, what’s up?”  I went straight to the parental moment where you ask for full disclosure.   The response that greets me is:

“Mom, It’s not my fault.”

What parent hasn’t heard that before, right?   It turns out that my son was replacing my kitchen faucet.  In this task the pvc pipe that sends water to the faucet broke off about an inch into the wall.  The kids tell me that it was quite a sight.  Water was shooting out everywhere, Lee was running around trying to remember where the water turn off valve is.    Valve was located…water turned off.   Whew.

After hearing this story…I laughed.  Yes, you heard me, I laughed.  It was at this point in my day when I realized that the day just couldn’t get any worse.  There was nothing left to do, but laugh.   I pulled up stake and headed home to help my son. I knew that he felt bad, but I also knew that he was so wonderful for taking on this task and doing it himself.

As I reached the house, I met him at the door as he was returning from his Dads house.  He had gone to pick up the shop vac to suck up all the water that was…yes…all over the kitchen.  He also had the name of a remodeling expert that his Dad referred him to.

I called the referral, Steve’s Paneling and Remodeling, who came over within 45 minutes.   He assessed the problem, which evidently is common with old pipe, and explained to my son exactly what to purchase, and exactly how to fix it.   He was detailed and patient with his explanation and then told my son to call him on his cell phone if there were any problems.  When I asked Steve how much I owed him for the service call, he responded:

‘No charge, my pleasure!”

What??   This guy didn’t know me, but was willing to waive a service charge?  Wow!!  I couldn’t believe it.   Rest assured that I refused to let him leave empty handed, but how amazing this was.  I had never experienced such kindness from a service business.  I made sure to put Steve in my iPhone for reference in the future. (I couldn’t find an online listing for him to link to, so if you are local and ever need a referral…just let me know…I’ll hook you up!)

As I reflected back on the day, I suddenly remembered how my day had started.  At six thirty a.m., as I pulled through my local Starbucks for my morning cup of coffee, the person in the car before me had paid for my coffee.  A simple act of kindness towards someone that they didn’t know.

This puts the whole world in perspective real fast.   Even though I was having a hard day, my day had started with a random act of kindness from a stranger, and ended with an act of kindness from a stranger.   I fell asleep with a smile on my face, wrapped in kindness.

Many of you have experienced those phone calls from your kids.   They have gotten themselves into a situation, and you need to come and help them out.    I am very fortunate that my first call (I think! or perhaps I’ve blocked out past calls…?) occured this past week.

It was 12:36 a.m on a Thursday.  I’m in a deep sleep, still recovering from my vacation.   My son has been out with his friends at a concert.  Typically, when he heads home from a night out, he will send me a text message.   I am used to reading, “heading home now” from the light of my cell phone.  Tonight was different.   When the phone rang instead of the familiar beep of a text message, I knew that this wasn’t going to be good news.

“Mom, we got out of the concert, but the garage where we parked our car closes at midnight.  We can’t get our car out to drive home.  Can you come and get us?”

After the words “ohhh, Lee”, escaped my lips, my brain immediately started calculating my choices.  I have given him the speech many times that “If you have been drinking and need a ride home, you call ME!”   I knew that this wasn’t the situation.  They had been in the under 21 section of a concert hall.  Could I refuse to come and get him because it wasn’t the “I’ve been drinking” situation?  Should I make them find an alternate ride home?   Within a split second, I realized that this wasn’t an option.  I didn’t want more teenagers out on the street after midnight.

“Stay there, son.  I’m on my way.”

The good news is that the highway is deserted at this hour.  The drive downtown only took 15 minutes.   As I pulled up at the gas station where my son and his friends were waiting for me, I knew what my parental pay-back would be.

“Son, while we are here, you can put some gas in my car.”

“But, Mom, that’s expensive.”

As I pointed to my watch to remind him of the time of day, and the fact that he had gotten me out of bed…

“O.K. Mom, but do I have to fill it up completely?”

“$20 worth, will be fine!”

The clock read 1:35 a.m. as I crawled back into bed.  “Not bad.” I thought.  Phone call to back in bed in 59 minutes…. Of course, it took another hour for me to relax and fall back to sleep.   Did someone mention empty nest is coming soon??

It is a typical Sunday evening in my home as I write these words. As usual you again find me with my laptop, yes…on my lap. I am sitting cross legged on the sofa, glasses perched on the end of my nose, and I am cruising through my favorite social media sites. My son has found a movie in OnDemand, and I am multi-tasking (aka pretending to watch the movie with him while focusing half of my attention on my laptop).

There was a question posed on one of the sites asking for the straight scoop on turning 40. The question…”Give it to me. What can I expect?”

While everyone’s experience is unique, it caused me to reflect on what my 40’s have been for me. A simple answer to that would be “Awesome”.

I began my 40’s having recently become a single mom. The first few years of my 40’s were spent trying to regain my balance. It did take a considerable amount of time and reflection to rediscover the spirited, fun loving girl that I used to be. What were that girl’s likes and dislikes? What was she passionate about? What made her laugh? I can report that finding the answers to these questions was a positive journey. I came to like this girl again. She is very funny.

The mid-40’s brought much joy from my teenage children. I was lucky enough (or perhaps barely smart enough) to learn a lesson from my mother. By example, my mother taught me how to give my children just the right amount of guidance, and then to step back and let them make the choices that were right for them. The trick is to make sure that this guidance is both impactful and profound enough for them to listen, even though they pretended not to. Was I always successful? Absolutely not! (Someday I will share with you the bumps, bruises, and the things that I learned and experienced along the way. It will make for humorous reading, believe me!) There were many times when I missed the mark as a parent, but fortunately, my children proved to be smarter than me and are making their way through the maze with as much grace as humanly possible. They will be great adults!

I am only 2 years away from leaving my 40’s behind. These last few years have been years of great personal growth. Stay tuned and I will blog about this at a future date. (Yes, this is a shameless ploy to get you coming back for more!)